We always found it difficult to answer people when they ask us when we first met. We both have a different view of how we met.

The most vivid memory I recalled noticing her was during a mission trip to Thailand back in 1997. I knew her fear of cockroaches and insects so I used it as my “weapon” to get close to her. Hmmm, come to think of it, it’s still one of my artilleries!

We did not instantly hit it off (like some would say – love at first sight). Our relationship developed slowly and strangely. We loved teasing one another, calling each other names and even picking ‘fights’ and ‘arguments’! The thought of a relationship then was simply disastrous.

Over the years our childish acquaintance grew into friendship. Things became more mellowed and pleasant. What really captivated me was her heart, not just her looks. She had a very interesting personality that captured my heart. She was kind, helpful, slow to anger and lived in integrity. That made a whole deal of difference. I guess even at a young age, the physical always was secondary… her personality and genuineness of heart really got me hooked.

Hmmm, it’s hard to pin point a date and time when I actually realized Terence existed. I reckon it would have to be that incident over a big pot of Maggi Mee at camp. We were cooking lunch for an entire outpost (of about 60 people) and suddenly while stirring the huge cauldron of mee, I realized I really enjoyed his company. It was the start of our friendship.

Now, the trickier part to identify would be ‘When did I actually started to have feeling for him?!’ For the longest time, my girlfriends have been telling me that he had something for me. The teasing went on for years, but I chose to ignore it and work at just being friends. Our friendship did develop and eventually he became my best guy friend. Although people say that girl boy relationships cannot stay platonic, I believe ours was, at least for a few years.

Even at a young age, I always saw Terence as someone who stood out in the crowd. There was something different about him – he was unlike the other guy friends I had. Maybe it was his agility to switch from wacky to level headed when called for. He was always sure of where and what he wanted. He was also incredibly loyal and genuine at heart. I reckon that was what sustained our friendship throughout the years.

We got closer during our college days. A light bulb moment dawned upon me that I had developed feelings for her when she left for the States in 2001. Stubborn as I was, I did not want to venture into a relationship as I felt the time not right.

In 2004, she left for Perth and surprisingly I was cool about it. By now, we were quite close. Our friendship was rather unique as it wasn’t easy for a guy and girl to share so many things in common yet not having any strings attached. We were very clear on the boundaries drawn hence sticking to it wasn’t a problem. Of course now, my criteria for a partner became more complex, it was not mere kindheartedness, helpfulness and personality. The list was more detail. (see our standards)

One fine day, a heartstring pulled alarming me that I had indeed grown to love him more than a brother in Christ and more than a friend. But time and feeling did not jive, so love ran its course until its next awakening. Finally, after some time, I whipped out my journals and rummaged through the pages I’ve written long ago about what I wanted in a life partner. God knew, I knew and no one else. It was a mighty long list, will it ever be perfectly matched?! I surrendered it to Him.

Days and months passed, life carried on.

Several months upon her return from Perth after her studies, we spoke and discussed about taking our friendship further. We came to a common agreement that we would not rush into anything immediately and will pray and fast about this for 2 months. After the two months, with much confirmation and blessings from our parents and spiritual leaders, we began our wonderful journey called – “courtship”.

And yes, we have been friends for more than 10 years, waited for her for 8 years before we went into courtship and another 2 ½ years before we say “I do”.

Every story has its own unique beginning.

The only difference with this is that there is no end.